To the esteemed Malay members at SrilankanMalayNikah.com and other Malay brothers and sisters looking for a life partner through internet or other mediums:
We at SrilankanMalayNikah.com give more importance to our Malay brothers’ and sisters’ safety and security. few years of service and communication methods has helped our Security Team to keep all vigilance in place to track and ban the fraudulent person before he gains access to contact others. SrilankanMalayNikah.com uses highest security standards at Profile Approval section. Every profile will undergo two tier verification method, before it is approved and available online to our other members. Suspicious profiles are removed and banned immediately. In fact, our security team visits other Malay matrimonial websites and use the search options to identify and alert the webmasters of other websites to remove any suspected users, so that any damages to our brothers and sisters in Islam can be minimised.
Although, it is our full commitment with taqwa to provide secured service, the scam people also use many tactics and they also becoming more professional to spoil others.
The steps that we have taken at our end are the ones that fall within our range and control. However there are quite a few things that you can manage at your end with absolute ease. Despite the efforts we make at our end a lot more can be achieved if you keep in mind the suggested guidelines which are an integral part of maintanence of security and safety.
WATCH OUT FOR MONEY SCAMS
There are quite a lot of people who are waiting to fool you. Don’t let anyone leave a hole in your pocket!!
- Bring it to our notice in case someone puts up a request for money.
- Be very cautious about people who ask you for any sort of financial support, they can give you many reasons.
- Its better to be sure of the person well before you become close enough to discuss the minute details.
- Never provide your financial status in detail.
- Don’t give others any information on your bank accounts.
- Avoid boasting about your bank balance without a reason.
SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE
- Read the correspondences / profiles carefully and ensure that they are not superfluous / unrealistic.
- Take your time in judging a person and drawing your conclusions.
- Ask your parents / friends / any unbiased relation to also scan through the correspondence / profiles and put forth their observations.
- Avoid using your complete signatures which mention place of work / address / phone numbers in your initial correspondences.
- Don’t be drawn by the looks and the profile content alone. All that glitters is not Gold!
- Don’t let any person pressurize you to reveal your personal information.
STAY ANONYMOUS TILL YOU ARE SURE
Your contact information as posted on the site is available only to our Paid Members. We suggest that Paid members restrict the communication to mails and reveal all the information only when sure.
- You are the person who makes the decision so you chose and process only what you wish to.
- Be sure you find the person to be trustworthy before you go fullswing and send across all your contact information.
- Don’t rush. Stay anonymous as long as you want. A genuine person would understand and respect your space and would give you time.
ASK FOR THE PHOTO
Appearance is not the only defining factor yet it gives a fair idea of the person.
- Make use of the Photo Request option available at SrilankanMalayNikah.com Since the uploading of photos is a very simple process where in the members can upload on their own or forward their snap to us by mail / post so that we do the needful so there should be hardly any reason for the photo not being uploaded despite your requests.
- A view at the album would allow you to view the person in various settings such as at the home, office, outdoors etc. The way the person is dressed also gives an idea of their tastes.
- Dont forget to let us know if by any chance the member sends across unacceptable photos to you.
USE CHAT / PHONES
Use chat messengers as the next step after the making initial contact by mail. You may follow this up with some telephone conversations.
- Chats would give you an idea of how well the person expresses. You can discuss the basic things including likes / dislikes / hobbies. Voice based chats also have been identified as good ways of communication.
- If you feel that you are ready for the next level then you can have a word on phone. You may also chose to let your parents speak to them / their family members. Ensure the usage of a pre-paid mobile number and this could also be used exclusively for marriage purpose only.
- Make sure that you call / receive calls at acceptable times.
- Ensure that the number provided to you is genuine and is not a pay phone where you end up footing the bills.
- Dont reveal too much about your schedules, your workplace etc.
- Don’t miss out on any eccentric / out of place comments / unusual behaviour that could be the warning signs.
ARE YOU READY FOR A PERSONAL MEETING?
A gradual interaction, collection of all that you deem necessary, anonymity coupled with the ease makes online interactions so popular today. You can decide at your end when you wish to meet in person or even put an end to the correspondence without feeling pressurized.
- The ball is in your court. You decide when you are ready.
- Meet at a safe place. Chose a public place preferably a cafe / restaurant.
- Meet at a convenient place at a time when many people would be around.
- Trust your gut feeling about the person and the meeting.
- Its better to take a person along may be a Parents/ friend / relative and ask the other person to do the same.
- Avoid going to secluded places.
- Never go to meet at unearthly hours.
- Don’t have the prospective match visit you at your home.
- Movies are not a place for the first meeting.
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN
A stitch in time saves nine. If you are careful and guarded then you can avoid any unpleasant situations.
- When the same questions are asked in different ways you can easily spot changes in the answering patterns.
- Check the comparability quotient because this is mandatory for a person with whom you intend to spend your entire life.
- Its always better to take decisions unanimously so involve your family members / friends in this process. They may detect things that you may have missed to notice.
- Extreme display of emotions be it anger, frustration, sorrow, boastful attitude are easy warning signs.
- Notice the general behavior not only towards you but also to other unknown people you encounter during the meetings. An extra dash of sarcasm, lack of respect, pungent jokes may not go well with you.
- Check out the attitude and the person’s take on various issues to rate the person.
- Never ignore the following behavioral trends :
- If your clear questions dont get direct answers.
- If the person seems to ponder on minor questions.
- If inconsistent information is provided about education, occupation, age, caste, appearance etc.
- If there is a significant difference in the person and the online profile.
- If the person avoids commitment.
- If the person avoids your interaction with family members, colleagues or friends.
- If the person is avoiding further interactions frequently with you due to unexplained reasons.
Before you take final decision, do verify the personal details of other person. Do not rush for Malay Nikah without verification, even if you receive marriage proposals through your relatives or friends or local matchmakers.
- Get reference details from the prospective bride/groom, contact them to check about the bride/groom.
- Speak to your relatives / friends to check whether they have any relatives residing near to the prospective bride/groom’s city, ask their help to verify the details, most of the Malay Muslims will not deny your request.
- Check with the prospective bride/groom whether they are linked to any Mosque or community center, try to contact them for checking details, such as marital status, job, behavior, family information etc..
We suggest you to use your head and not follow just your heart because this is a matter for lifetime and one rash decision can change your life forever. Its totally your responsibility to keep yourself safe and secure and avoid slip-ups. In this journey in search of your life partner never lose yourself by keeping on straight roads.
Also ensure that you also respect the privacy of others just as you wish yours to be.
In case, you encounter any unpleasant situations, please bring it to our notice without fail. Your actions would help punish the guilty and save others from going through the same.